Tomorrow At This Time Muff Will Be In Key West And You Won’t!

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When you run websites like BostonDrunks,  you make money selling smut ads on the right side of the screen. Money is the reason my ass gets to go down to Key West, party, drink frozen drinks loaded with booze, and generally hide from the cold ass bite of winter. 
See you in the tropics!

So How Was Your Friday Night?

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Tis the season for a bender and nothing says bender like drinking Jager out of the bottle while in your underware.  Muff is off to Key West. See you from the tropics next week.
Until then, stay drunk my friends.

Girl Does Thing with Her Mouth (Not as Impressive as it Sounds)

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So, uh… What’s she doing when she learns that she has this “talent?”

It’s Almost 2015 and Everybody Still Freaks Out Over a Little Pot

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This pot dispensary had to take down this picture of Santa smoking a blunt and then holding a separate blunt for some reason. Even though they’re a fucking pot dispensary and you know, they have bloody pot there. But some L.A. people can’t mind their own business and they went all Helen Lovejoy on this establishment.

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So yeah, he’s gone now. My only problem with it was that Santa rolled some loose shit. Tighten it up brother, you’re just wasting half that stuff; your your head, Kris.

Madonna is Off her Damn Nut

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So, everybody is getting hacked these days. And Madonna is no exception. Her upcoming “album” got leaked online and her horrible, horrible songs were heard, before her old, old fans were ready to be disappointed. And here’s what that brainless, crusty, skeleton with skin said:

“This is artistic rape!! These are early leaked demo’s half of which wont even make it on my album the other half have changed and evolved. This is a form of terrorism. Wtf!!!! Why do people want to destroy the artistic process??? Why steal? Why not give me the opportunity to finish and give you my very best?”

The fuck? Hyperbole much, Madonna? Yeah, we get it, your new songs are garbage, so you put out this statement saying they weren’t ready yet and it’s all about terrorist this and rape-y rape that. But seriously, did you hear some of that shit she calls music? Listen:

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Nah, I’m just playing. That wasn’t from the recent hack, that was shit she actually released a decade and a half ago. I guess Madonna always kinda sucked.

But in here defense, that video where she fucked the black Jesus Christ, was fucking hilarious!

 

These S & M Stuffed Animals Make A Great Last Minute Holiday Gift

S&M stuffed animals

Pawnshop

Seems like the perfect holiday gift for all those kinky, whorey chicks in your life. Then again, whores don’t get gifts.

whore santa

Your Funny Ha Ha Picture Of The Day (Special Holiday Edition)

12-17-14 Funny Ha HA

Runner Up….

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How Come He-Man Is Considered “Strong” While Skeletor Has The Same Body?

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Sometimes I sit in my office and wonder things…like how come He-Man is considered “strong” or “jacked” when he has the same exact body as Skeletor. I mean fuck, look at the toys, same mold, just Skeletor is blue. Yet on the cartoon, He-Man rode a fucking tiger and kicked ass while Skeletor was a pussy with a fucked up face.

How come Seletor is not know for his strength. Dude looks like he lifts. Like who wins in a bench press contest, who the fuck knows? All I know is that when people in the Masters of the universe ask how much He-Man can bench, She-Ra gets wets.

I guess just no love for the gym effort for the man with a skull for a face. dude just works out, and gets none.

Holy Cow! Cuomo, You’re Finally Done It. You Blew it Up, You Blew it ALL Up!

Andrew Cuomo

 

You’re a madman, Cuomo. A frizzin’ madman!

NYS governor, Andrew Cuomo (or ‘The Governator’ as he likes to be called) has said that he’s gonna ban hydro-fracking or “fracking” in New York State. Why? For health reasons. No, why? Because he’s turning the office of NYS governor on its ear!

But, you may ask. What about the poor billionaires? How are they going to stay ever so slightly richer than their billionaire buddies? How are they going to react now that they only have most of the power in the world, instead of all the power? And, is there a way they can somehow get a tax break off of this legislation?

How about this: Andy just won his second term as governor during the midterms. He doesn’t have to worry about his political future for another 3 1/2 years, and by that point fracking could be a long forgotten memory. So he just might follow through on this.

So run, billionaires, run! He’s coming for you and he isn’t taking no fucking prisoners. He’s gonna tie city hall to a large chain and beat you all within an inch of your lives with it. So beware, and don’t say I didn’t warn ya…

pictured: Left; Fracking: Right; Murdering Maniac and Ultraviolence Aficionado, Gov. Andrew Cuomo

pictured: Left; Fracking: Right; Murdering Maniac and Ultraviolence Aficionado, Gov. Andrew Cuomo

Hey, Screw You, 911, I Pay Your Salaries

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I’m sure this 911 caller got some flack and probably a hefty fine for this. But in seriousness, if somebody broke into my home and fucked with all my video game settings, I’d want a full fucking fledged investigation too. Do these keystone cops realize how much time and effort it takes to get the setting just how you want them? THE ANSWER IS: A LOT!!!!!

Comedy Central Apologizes for Forgetting to Put Jokes into their New Larry Wilmore Show Promos

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AP- Comedy Central released an apology earlier today, when it realized that they released a number of ‘The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore’ promos yesterday but forgot to add the jokes in. Larry will be taking over for Stephen Colbert in the network’s time slot directly after Jon Stewart’s ‘The Daily Show.’

The apology was released when viewers of the adds got confused. They were aware that Larry’s show will air after a comedy show, replacing a former comedy show, on a comedy network, and Larry himself has been comedic on his appearances or aforementioned ‘Daily Show,’ and that’s why viewers were so surprised to see a show advertised which didn’t show off any humor whatsoever.

Comedy Central promises they will render this problem, and hope to have a show that showcases at least the bare minimum level of what could be considered “comedy” sometime around the middle of January 2015.

Today In: WTF Shutterstock

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heheheh… It’s funny because bitches be lovin’ their chocolate.

Look at this one, she’s caught and a little ashamed, but you know she be elbow deep in that shit again once whoever caught her leaves the room again for like two seconds.

This Buffalo Bloke is Basically Immortal

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A New York man is incredibly fortunate this afternoon after falling sixty feet into a gorge in Letchworth State Park on Sunday evening. When crew rescued him a few hours later, they discovered that he didn’t have a scratch on him.

22-year-old Timothy Mazurczak went hiking with a friend on Sunday when he stepped too close to the edge of a cliff and fell. WKBW-TV in Buffalo notes┬áthat he walked away from the ordeal with nothing but a ticket for not using “designated trails.”

After BuffaloGreg just fairly stated that everybody in Texas was a pussy because one guy shot a weatherperson, in that same ilk all Western New York folk are the shit, because this one guy just casually fell off a cliff and then brushed himself off as if nothing had happened.

I don’t know about you, but that’s pretty fucking gangster.