Sex Study Says: “You Gonna Break Yo’ Dick!”

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A recent study done in Brazil says that the most common sex position resulting in a guy spraining his wang is: Woman on top, “Cowgirl.” Followed by “Doggy Style” with “Reverse Cowgirl” bringing up the rear (know what I mean, say no more).

My thoughts: This study was almost certainly conducted by some church related group!

Muppets Biz Markie Dub

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Yeah it’s alright, but the chorus don’t even start until about one minute in. And we only really want to see the chorus, right? And we don’t need a visual to your channel afterwards, bro. I’ll find you if I want, you don’t need to be busting down my door like you’s some sort of Jehovah’s Witness, or some shit!

NBC Hire Another Super Bowl Pre-Game Commentator

The 85th annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, NYC

 

 

Nope, don’t adjust your internet device. NBC in reality thought that they needed Johnny Weir’s expert analysis prior to the big game on Sunday.

But then again, he does completely embody the average New England Patriots fan, right? Good work, NBC!

Simon Pegg is Writing ‘Star Trek 3′

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Have to admit, not a big fan of the new ‘Star Trek’ movies. What are they supposed to be in space or something? And where the fuck are all the robots and talking raccoons and shit?

But I’ll probably watch the third once for the sole reason that Simon Pegg is kind of the shit. But I’m gonna say this right now: If he doesn’t do a whole bunch of jokes about ice cream cones, queuing in line, and being a slacker who constantly disappoints his girlfriend, I think he’s really missing out on an opportunity. Also wouldn’t it be funny if there is some sort of alien invasion toward the beginning of the film but the Enterprise crew is too oblivious to realize it until about 45 minutes in?

Today In: Funny Shit About Orgasms said by People from that Showtime Show, ‘The Affair’

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“I fell that men should be made to do the “orgasm face” just as often as women. I kept insisting, ‘Why have I always got to do the orgasm face? There should be a male orgasm face. Why is it always the woman who’s orgasming? Let’s analyze the male orgasm.”

– Ruth Wilson

I don’t know what “it” is. But whatever it is, you’ve got it, Ruth Wilson!

In Memoriam: Sky Mall

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The unthinkable happened a few days ago. In flight catalog/magazine Sky Mall has filed for bankruptcy and has closed its doors presumably forever. So, now what am I going to impulsively buy whilst flying, many have said.

While there are no easy answers to that question. I want to take time to remember a few of the things one will now have to scour the earth to find in a regular mall or department store. Thank you, Sky Mall for your years of service.

The Face Trainer

The Face Trainer

The Cat Poop Orb in Space

The Cat Poop Orb in Space

The "It's a Trap!" Sleeper

The “It’s a Trap!” Sleeper

The "I Really Fucking Hate my Dog."

The “I Really Fucking Hate my Dog.”

The "Enough with this Shit, Already"

The “Enough with this Shit, Already!”

Doin’ Time In Times Square Is Worth A Watch If You Have 40 Mins And Loved The Combat Zone

So this Director guy by the name of Charlie Ahearn made this little movie back in the 80’s. It is about what happens outside of his window as he lives in Times Square. Back then Times Square was a shit hole of hookers, pimps, jack shacks, and madness. It was awesome! This is worth a watch if you love the ghettoness of life. The best part of the movie of how he puts in the moments of his own life, like his kid having a birthday party, then that night, hookers battling on the street. If you cant watch the whole movie here are some of the best parts:

2:32- Pimp trying to control his hos. The the cops show up.

5:00- You just got knocked the fuck out! Nope, doing fine, just let me get my shoes?

9:47- You really just got knocked the fuck out! And they stole you wallet while your out cold! Awesomeness!

11:56- The old pour the water on the head of the guy who was knocked out routine.

 

 

Crazy Naked Lady Trashing A Store Is Your Video Of The Day

I feel like we have been on a roll here with videos of fat naked crazy chicks. Then again no one really films normal clothed chicks doing nothing. So yeah, naked and crazy is always better. This woman is just pure nutz. Full Peter Griffen naked belly covering up the dirty bits. “what do you want me to knock over next” all of it crazy lady, all of it!

Soccer Rage

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Hope Solo’s husband Jerramy Stevens was driving a U.S. Soccer team van at the time of his DUI arrest Monday morning … and we’re told it was the main reason Hope was suspended from the team. 

As we first reported, Hope was belligerent with the arresting officers — and now we’ve learned cops went out of their way to try to keep Hope out of cuffs … despite the fact she was being a “major pain.”

It’s funny because it’s soccer. Also, is that a naked ‘Heil Hitler’ pictured above? Interesting choice…

The Olympics? Fuck the Olympics!

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The only time I’m ever glad that Buffalo doesn’t live up to its expectations, is when I realize that I never have to worry about the Olympics coming here. It’s a fact that Tokyo is going to get destroyed in 2020, so why would Boston want the same fate 4 years (or one Olympic year) later. I don’t actually know how Boston citizens feel about this 2024 bid, but if they are actually against, fuck yeah.

And then I find this out. This is some bullshit below!

(from Deadspin) – Nobody who lives in Boston actually wants the city to win its bid for the 2024 Olympic games. And yet, in a joinder agreement between the city and the United States Olympic Committee, mayor Marty Walsh has signed a contract that forbids city employees from speaking negatively about the bid, the IOC, or the Olympic games.

Here’s what the agreement says:

‘The City, including its employees, officers and representatives, shall not make, publish or communicate to any Person, or communicate in any public forum, any comments or statements (written or oral) that reflect unfavorably upon, denigrate or disparage, or are detrimental to the reputation or statute of, the IOC, the IPC, the USOC, the IOC Bid, the Bid Committee or the Olympic or Paralympic movement. The City, including its employees, officers and representatives, shall each promote the Bid Committee, the USOC, the IOC Bid, U.S. Olympics and Paralympics athletes and hopefuls and the Olympic and Paralympic movement in a positive manner.’

And the Paralympics too? What? What? What?