Muff Is Looking For The Next Great Batch Of BostonDrunks Writers

40 dollar bill right there

So as you may know by now, Muff is fixing up the old BostonDrunks site. That means we need new blood. We need new writers. Maybe that is you, maybe not. Do you have what it takes to work hard, get paid next to nothing, get laughed at by others? All in the hopes of getting more Twitter followers and maybe being called up to another site and making the big bucks.

So we are looking for people who want to get in and start bloggin about chicks, sports, booze, and random shit. The pay is $40 monthly and you have to do a minimum of 50 posts a month. That is simple as hell. You just do the work and boom, enough money for a pizza and a case of beer!

Email Muff at Info@BostonDrunks.com

Did You Really Think Muff Would Kill Off BostonDrunks?

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So I have been getting emails from all you Drunks wondering what is going on with the old BostonDrunks.com site. They ask if I have really quit. Is the site dead? Where do I now go to jerk off in the morning while at work?
Well let me tell you something,  no the site is not dead. Muff is hard at work to bring you a new, better BostonDrunks.
Less smut or shall I say…classy smut. The kind of smut you would be proud of.
So right now we are working on redesigning the site to make it better. We are tying to get rid of all the nude pics and stash them somewhere so fancy advertisers don’t have a giant pussy shot next to their goods and wares.
Also we will be hiring a new writing staff soon. We need new blood to get this shit back up to the level of acceptance.
Time to strap on my hard hat and get to work.

Muff Is Convinced. There Is No Pleasing You People

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Muff is at the end of his rope. I have no one but you people to blame. You people who sit at your keyboards and on your phones suck. There is no pleasing you fucks. When I started this site it was fun, we had some good times. Lately, it has been a bucket of jizz full of AIDS. Let backtrack first.

10 years ago, we started a little magazine and we sold it at Fenway Park, it was called Beantown Baseball. We got sued and changed the name to SIX43. We sold it with a Yankees Still Suck bumper sticker and we sold shitloads of them. Then someone said we should go online. Blogs were going to be all the rage. Also we were getting shit from the city and the Red Sox to go the fuck away. We left Fenway and went online.

The original vision of this site was Funny shit, videos and bar reviews. Evolving into a TV show. Think Phantom Gourmet of booze.

Then we made the mistake of listening to you assholes.

You see, we put up some shit about Boston Sports, you people said so it more. So we did.

We did a blog on Taylor Corey AKA Taylor Stone. She was the cheerleader from Mississippi State who was naked in Playboy. A “sports” story. We showed the naked pics, you people said show more naked chicks, so we did.

We were chugging along showing naked chicks and talking sports. Still throwing in the videos and the funny shit. Daily we would be called a Barstool ripoff by people who had no clue that we really around before Barstool and actually word with them back in there newspapers days. In fact, I may have been the one who told Portnoy that newspapers suck and to get into the web.  But what ever, call us a Barstool or Brobible or Chive knockoff, we just kept trying to make a good site.

We fucking hired a shitload of bloggers. Fuck at one point we had 15 guys writing on the Various sites that we had. We were paying guys over $3000 total a fucking month all in the name of entertaining you fuckers. At our peak we were bringing in $3000 a month in advertising revenue, we were selling stickers and shirts and had hit a over a million pageviews a month.  We were growing.

Then other sites stated to hire our writers. Talent is the hardest thing to find in the blog game. Everyone wants to work and be awesome and very few can do it. Do you know how many guys we have hired, only for them to quit before they would blog there first post.

Since we were losing bloggers left and right and we could not replace them. We went with the old stand by that naked chicks equal pageviews.

People seemed to like it since our pageviews stayed high. You people said MORE NAKED CHICKS!

The only problem when you flood your site with naked chick pics is that advertisers go away.

Revenue went way down. Without revenue we could no longer hire the bloggers to replace the ones who left. So we tried to get adult ads to replace the revenue and hire new blood.

You all bitched about having to deal with grow bigger cock ads. We had to do the porn ads cause YOU WANTED A PORN SITE!

New blood did not want to work on a site with bigger cock ads. Seems like a no win situation since we needed the ads to pay the bloggers.

So here we are. A shitty site full of naked chicks, making no money, with no bloggers.

So I can’t blame myself for BostonDrunks getting to where it is now. I listened to the people, and I have found that you people know nothing about the internet industry. So here is what is going to happen.

We are shutting down the site because you readers have ruined it. Boo me all you want but it is your fault.

I feel like this is your favorite sex toy and now I have to take it away from you to teach you a lesson.

Will BostonDrunks be back. Probably. But it will be a cleaned up version with less smut and we will go back to the basics and re-start this shit.

 

 

OK People… Foot Coke Guy Is So Fake So Yeah

So people have been asking me about this video making the rounds on the world wide web today. The video is some dude making foot coke and licking it of his ID. No fucking way in hell this is real, the old switch-a-roo is done under the table you stupid fucks. He should have blown a line if he wants to impress my ass.

NJ State Trooper Bust Guy with 80 pounds of Weed Candy

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So this Brooklyn man was arrested in Jersey for having a shitload of weed in candy and bake goods or “edibles” as the kids are calling them these days. He’s probably going to jail and the police and courts are dubbing his “The Candyman.”

But to me, that’s a bit racist. There’s only one Candyman and it’s this friggin guy:

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That’s right, Tony Todd will out Candyman any hipster from Brooklyn trying to act like that lady from Weeds, being all cute and shit with weed candy.

Also, Todd played a fucking Minotaur one time. Not quite as iconic, but dude was a fucking Minotaur!

Aqua Teen Hunger Force to End Forever

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To all you fans of 10 minute cartoon shows about anthropomorphic foods fighting aliens, getting high in New Jersey and murdering one another on a weekly basis; this particular one is about to end its 10+ year run. ATHF will begin its final season this June. For those of you unfamiliar with this program, don’t worry you can still jump in right now because there is absolutely no continuity whatsoever in this cartoon made specially for stoners.

That Awkward Moment When…

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… you go to see your six year old’s kindergarten pageant to see a bunch of kids sing the alphabet or some shit, and then some guy starts chanting USA and English Only!

Buddy, there’s a time and a place for everything and the time and place for a chant like that is: “Shut the fuck up and don’t come back here ever.”