The Accommodations

The accommodations on the Cape always suck. You have two ways to go when you arrive past the canal. Rent a house of stay at a hotel/motel/ Holiday Inn… say what! (yea I know old school rap)

Renting a house is always great on the Cape except it costs like a boat load of money. Now because it costs more than a gang orgy in Mexico just for one night, you have to be flexible.  The more the merrier is what I say, lets get them costs down to like 75 bucks a person. The next thing I know there are 30 people staying in a house that has 4 bedrooms. Now I am paying 75 bucks a night to sleep on a floor or on a shitty blow up bed that I could have put on the beach for free. Oh and what the fuck is with all of the decorations in the house, where does one even find a decorative  lobster trap?  Homeless people have it better than I do when I go to the Cape. 

The other option is staying in some shitty hotel room that is way over priced and is owned by some asshole couple that have way too many rules for me, Like why do I need a bathing suit for your ghetto pool, I enjoy skinny dipping and besides I don’t wanna get any piss all over my trunks. The high end hotel rooms that are nice, I cant afford, does it look like I have a guy named Virgil with me, no I don’t so it is off to the motel for me.  The motels on the cape were all made before you and I were even an itch in your fathers crotch, The bed is musty and covered in so much jizz that I won’t let a woman sleep nude in them for the fear she will get knocked up by the mattress.

But hey, who cares that I am paying way to much for a shitty nights sleep on a bed that 2000 dudes have had a gang bang in, It is the Cape and I am on vacation.

Click here for the next reason Cape Cod sucks


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