So the best part about living in Boston is that you can drive less than an hour and be in Providence RI. Hell you can even take the commuter rail to little Rhody. The best part about Providence is the strip clubs. Now there are lots in the city, some are hit and some are miss. Some have rules and some kinda don’t. But if there is one thing I know about Providence strip clubs is that cash talks. So bring you wallets and your A game and let’s have some stripper fun! Here are my top 5 strip clubs in Providence.
5. Cadillac Lounge- Ah the good old Caddy. This place once was bring your own booze, I used to bring 32 oz bud lights and just look at tits while in a drunken stupor all night long. Now they sell booze and I feel like this place lost a little charm. Here is the scoop on this place, the girls are hot and they have a lot of them. This is a great place if you just want to look at naked chicks, sit back, and drink a beer. People that don’t go to strip clubs go to the Foxy Lady, those that do go once in a while but still don’t want to be looked on like a pervert go here.
4. Sportsmans Inn- Sometimes you want to go to a fucking shady strip club. The kind of place that you feel at any minute your life could be taken by a stray bullet. If you ever want to live life on the edge, the Sportsmans Inn is your place. This is like the perfect combination of dive bar and strip club. The chicks here are, well rough around the edges. But once in a while you can find a diamond in the rough. The best part about this place is the fact that the girls will grind the cum right out of you for like two bucks. Seriously wear mesh shorts or track pants and you will need a clean up when you get in the car. Also what happens downstairs at the Sportsman stays downstairs at the Sportsman.
3. Satin Doll- This is a small place right down city, near the Sportsman Inn but way more classy. You can walk here from the train or the Dunkin Donuts Center. This placed is owned by the same people who own the Cadillac Lounge, so you will find many of the same girls at both. This place is not nude, but they come damn close to it as possible. The fact that it is not nude means you can get a lot more grind for you buck. This place has hands down the best “clean” lap dance in Rhode Island. They may not do the dirty extras here, but if your just looking for a great lap dance from a hot girl for only like twenty bucks, go here. Also I find that this place has the cheapest and freshest draft beer at any strip club in the city.
2. Cheaters- What if I could combine the Sportmans Inn with a fucking whorehouse, what would I have? Cheaters! This place is shady and ghetto, and that is what makes it awesome! This is the only strip club you will ever go to where the words, you can fuck me in the ass is whispered in your ear. Now they get a little crazy with the cover charges. It is like 5 bucks to get in, and then 10 more for the nude room. Pay the nude room cover and just pretend that it was a 15 dollar cover all along. By the way, if your planning a bachelor party, make this the last stop of the night and everyone leaves with a smile.
1. Desire- So your boy Muff has to say that Desire is the best strip club in Providence, and I am not just saying this so they let me in for free in the future. This place is classy enough to bring clients and dirty enough to bring wet naps for your crotch. The girls here are always top-notch, the drinks are always made well, the beer is always cold, the private rooms are always, well private. They have an outside deck so in the nice whether you can hang outside with the ladies while enjoying a burger off the grill. Did I say free parking too! Some girls will go the extra mile here but only if you show them love, and by love I mean fucking cold hard cash! Go here and you will have a good time, and if you don’t seal the deal or need to have a release, Cheaters is just down the road.
So there you go guys, have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do..and that is not much.