Ice, Coco and Chanel: Who Are These People?


Ice-T and wife Coco recently had a baby (girl I assume), and they named her Chanel. Because that is a thing that is commonly done, apparently.

Jerry Jones: Was Putting Romo Back In Worth It? Yes, He Says.


“Jerry Jones is a genius!” Is something nobody has ever said. Unless they were given a shit-ton of money and told to say it while they danced around topless.

But, c’mon, Jer! You like Romo, you really, really do. He is your favorite person ever! Even though he’s only ever won a single playoff game. So why put him in when his collarbone was still questionable?

Well Jerry recently told a local radio station that it was totally worth it… because they still had a slight look at a playoff spot. Because Jerry doesn’t care about anybody but himself. Even though he claims to really, really, really, really like Romo.

He also thought Johnny Manziel would be the best QB of all time, so there’s some food for thought.

Trump Only Wants “Beautiful” Children Riding His Huey


Trump has a helicopter, everybody. Isn’t that wonderful?

Actually he has a number of helicopters. And also at a recent campaign rally in Florida, he asked for only “beautiful” children to ride in it as guests. Allegedly, I suppose.

So he had nothing to do with the elephant… so far. But this is strange right? An awkward turn of phrase, no?

Donald Trump And An Elephant


Oh, I get it. The elephant is the symbol for the Republican party, and this one says “Trump” on it, and Trump is running for president as a Republican.

Oh and also, this guy has a number of animal cruelty charges against him. Because he’s most likely terrible. He’s also a big Trump supporter, but I guess one thing has nothing to do with the other?

And granted, the Trump campaign has not endorsed the use of this elephant, but they’ve also said nothing to condemn it. So take that as you will.

Buffalo Bills Are The Biggest Clowns In The NFL


Not much to be said about the 30-22 Buffalo Bills loss to the KC Chiefs, except that the Bills don’t really deserve to be called a football team.

They were outplayed, but they really shouldn’t have been. Sammy started out on fire, and then Taylor and everybody else forgot that he existed for the entire second half. Hmmm? Best player, that you overpaid and sacrificed draft picks for… might want to throw the ball in his direction, especially considering that he brings them down all the goddamned time. 6 receptions for 158 yards in the first half… and then one throw to him in the second… that was a mile over his head.

Oh well… season’s over.

The WWF’s Goobledy Gooker, Where Is He Now?


What became of the Goobledy Gooker?


You were probably expecting a more fantastic answer, but he was just Hector Guerrero… and he retired with his family back to Mexico or some shit like that. That’s all.

Goddammit, Reese Trees!


C’mon Reese, we had an understanding. You make your treat in the shape of whatever holiday symbol it happens to be at the time, and we continue to patronize your branding. That’s all.

But you’re kinda ruining it when instead of little trees you’re giving us nuggets of shit. I’m this close to buying the Wal*Mart brand. Whatever the hell they call em. I think they come in big 2 lb tubs for about 5 bones.

Apes Don’t Give An F


Another example of our inevitable ape overlords not giving a fuck.

Chanukah Song Again

Click here to view the embedded video.

A day after calling Adam Sandler the least funny person in America he goes and makes another Chanukah song and reinforces that previous statement to a T.

I mean, I mean, this bit was tired two decades ago. And all he ever does is rearrange the words with a few new celebrities that he suddenly finds out are Jews, and he makes a little rhyme about it.

Never has so much been done with so little. Adam Sandler, everybody. Entertaining 10 year old boys for 20+ years.

“The Golden Girls” Granny Panties Are Now a Thing


Because of the fucking internet! That is all.

Behold: The Piecaken


Come on, people! Respect your goddamned bodies around the holiday season, will ya? I’m getting diabetes just looking at the images of two pies stuffed inside a double layer cake.

What is wrong with people?

“Fantastic Four 2” Cancelled?


I didn’t see this movie, you all probably didn’t either. But for some reason a sequel was greenlit before the movie even premiered back in August. And from what I heard, the movie was bad, it did poorly, and it made anybody who saw it feel like shit. So even though everyone and their mother has a super hard-on for most super hero movies right about now, there is a breaking point. And that breaking point is this shitty looking Fantastic Four movie.