Yankees Fan Misses A Bunch Of Balls

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I don’t now, or will I ever care about the dreadfully boring sport of baseball. But even I know how embarrassing this had to be for this guy. I mean the first one, sure anybody could’ve missed that rocket. But the second one was about as threatening as an angry hummingbird, and the third one was a toss from the ball boy.

And why doesn’t this guy have a mitt? And what could possibly be going through his lady friend’s head?

Whatever, I’m sure he was just having a bad day, and in fact, we’re all dickheads for laughing at his misfortune.

Sit In The Corner, Pope, And Think About What You’ve Done


He’s meeting in secret with that scumbag clerk from Kentucky now. Which is just all sorts of bananas. But let me be clear, I thought Pope-y was a snake since he took the gig a couple of years ago. I never believed the hype. I’m concerned with who you’re hanging out with, Frankie, and I don’t think I want you coming back to America again.

The New “The Daily Show” Was Very Similar To The Old “The Daily Show.”


Okay, Comedy Central, the jig is up. You can’t promote this new show with a new hip young host and a new urban style, and then give us the same thing as a middle aged Jewish guy gave us months before.

C’mon Trevor, give us something to get excited about, not something my grandparents can have on before bedtime to sooth their blood.

Ref Pulls Gun At Otherwise Extremely Dull Soccer Match


This ref may be facing disciplinary actions down in Brazil where this match took place. But really, people, really, he should be commended for getting people to talk about Soccer as something interesting for the first time since the last World Cup.

Also, if these soccer players are anything like those high school football thugs in America, that pistola might become a regular part of the referee uniform before too long.

The Apple App Store Hack Runs Deep, Brother


So here’s what’s possible, but not necessarily actually happening. According to our fruit-based corporate overlords.

So we rely on the Apple Corp. for many aspects of our lives these days. Phones, internet, watches with phone and internet attached… And we trust them with our secrets, banking information, and all of our passwords. And they told us it was going to be safe.

And after the App store hack that occurred last week, Apple Corp. assures everybody that we still are safe and that we can still trust them. And maybe we can, but only maybe.

Apple put a lot of our eggs in one basket. The App store alone housed a number of our secrets which this hack could’ve made vulnerable. But rest assured Apple Corp. said that they didn’t… And that’s all the assurance people needed.

That being said, they’re probably telling the truth, but despite it all Apple has kinda become the ‘1984’ style Big Brother that they claimed they would never become.

I Don’t Think Cowboys Fans Are Making A Big Enough Deal Outta Romo Being Sidelined For Months


Sure, sure, sure. They got Brandon Weeden, and he looked decent against the Falcons despite the loss. His stats may have even been slightly better than Romo’s of the first two weeks. And the Cowboys certainly scored more points last week than they had in their other outings.

But let’s not forget how much of a man crush Cowboy’s owner, Jerry Jones, has on Romo as a person. How is each and every Dallas Cowboy’s fan not dying a little bit inside on behalf of Jerry? I’ll never understand.

Either way, screw the Cowboys. That is all.

The Structure Of High School Football Is On FIRE!

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Okay, so what are we seeing here? This is from a Los Angeles area high school football game in which a defensive player allegedly smeared some Icy/Hot into an opposing player’s face.

Now this just knocks HS football off the rails coming just weeks after that coach encouraged his player to tackle and altogether target a referee. And yes, I know that there is an infinite number of high schools, most of which have a football squadron, but because of these two examples I have come to an unmovable conclusion: High School ball is far more brutal than the NFL.

The NFL keeps getting softer and softer as the next batch of whining babies sues the league for the “ow-ies” they sustained over time, causing the league to enact rules to make the game duller. While High School is a free-for-all war zone, one in which the attackers take no prisoners.

If you want excitement, and dream of living on the edge, don’t bother with the NFL Sunday ticket, go to your local high school instead. The tickets and concessions are cheap, and there is a great chance that somebody is gonna get murdered!

And don’t even tell me this was accidental: 

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Hey Look Everybody, Tracy Morgan Is Doing Stuff!

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I’m a big Tracy Morgan fan, and I’m glad that he is doing better. But nothing was going to make me watch the Emmy’s, so this is the first I’m hearing about this, even though the Emmy’s aired something like two or three weeks ago.

But anyway, here’s a two-minute clip, and it looks like he’s doing pretty well. And if some of you are skeptical, and thinking that the accident has made him talk funny… well, you just don’t know Tracy Morgan that well, do ya?

I Think Mrs. Ice-T is Messing With Us


You all remember Coco, from the short lived ‘Ice Loves Coco’ TV show, or the much longer lived ‘I’m married to Ice-T, and I have a trademarked high pitched squeal of a voice.’

Anyway, she recently took some photos of her backstage at a concert showing off her 7-month pregnant pose.

Now, I know that she got to choose her pose and the angle of the cameraman, but c’mon, I think maybe Ice just told her that she was pregnant to keep her off his back for a 10 to 12 months. (And that’s assuming that he also told her that an average pregnancy last up to 12 months.)

Then again, she might be preggers, her butt does seem a bit large. I dunno, maybe it’s just me…

Where Are They Now: Miss Choksondik, From South Park?


Ya’all remember that teacher with the saggy breasts that took over for Mr. Garrison for a semester?

I think there was an episode where she died or something, and then Mr. Garrison had to take the class back over, but without the puppet, to show that his character had grown.

But I don’t really remember, it was a long time ago.

Oh yeah, and shit, remember when the character of Kenny used to die at the end of every episode… man those were some strange days, no?

The Supermoon Looks Eerily Like a Redder Version of the Regular Moon


Okay, so I’m not about to talk shit about the moon, I’m not a goddamned animal. But when somebody tells me there’s gonna be a Supermoon last night, then I don’t think I’m wrong in expecting to be “wowed.”

And it was kind of a disappointment. There hasn’t been a Supermoon since 1982, and there won’t be another one until 2033. And I’m fine with that… I mean it basically looked like the regular moon under the red light at a club or some shit like that…

Anyway, here’s that Awolnation song Hollow Moon, because it’s kind of related:

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I Think The “Sexy Trump” Costume Needs More Titty


I believe that it is Halloween Costume Rule 34 that states, ‘if something exists, there is a sexy costume of it – no exceptions.’

So we got this whole, Donald Trump running for POTUS business happening, therefore this Halloween is expecting a barrage of costume in that realm. So here’s the big one that is emerging. And it’s a bit of a let down. It’s just a regular shirt, tie and jacket, along with a wig and an optional hat. It’s slim cut, sure, but the breasts are given a rest in favor of shorty shorts.

Here’s the thing, random costume designer dudes, girls wear shorty shorts all summer long, there is nothing novel about them. Give us some free-range breasts, Halloween! Do your job!


New York City Was So Excited About The Pope and Their Pizza Rat Last Week, That They Completely Forgot To Play Football.


Not that I was expecting much out of either the Jets or the Giants this week. I was basically looking for yet another excuse to say that the only team that played well out of the great state of New York this week, was the friggin’ Buffalo Bills!

I mean, 41 to 14, over the Miami Dolphins, did you guys see any of that game? Spectacular!

Bills Beat On The Dolphins Repeatedly, Like Gongs!


I’m going to get overconfident and say it. The Buffalo Bills are the REAL DEAL!

After a brief hiccup last week versus the Patriots, in which the refs couldn’t keep their hands off their little flags, the Bills flew down to Miami beach and got down to business.

They then proceeded to dominate the first half of football, only to get sloppy in the 3rd, and give the Dolphins a false sense of security. And then in the 4th they locked it up and shoved it all down their throats!

It wasn’t pretty what we did to our greatest rivals, but it had to be done.

Next week we’ve got the Giants at home. I’m not checking off a W yet, but I’m feeling confident.