So your boy Muff is walking down Charles St today when I stumble upon a little red Ferrari parked on the side of the road. Yea so what, It’s a Ferrari, I was never much of a car guy, I would rather dink an 18 year old scotch or look at an 18 year old chick, but this car caught my eye. It had a fucking handicapped parking tag on the dash! What kind of fucking handicapped person is driving a fucking Ferrari? I have narrowed down the choices of “Ferrari Asshole” to the following:
Mid-life crisis guy with a bad heart and a good doctor:
I just picture this guy with a bald head and $500 sunglasses. This guy wears all Vineyard Vines and is a complete prick to anyone that comes in his path. This guy also had a slight heart attack and has a great doctor who still signs his handicap forms for the RMV. Maybe because he is his own doctor or his doctor plays golf with him every Tuesday, either way this guy is a dick and I should have keyed his car AKA: extension of his small dick.
Euro-trash that has a “friend” that works at the RMV:
You know this douche bag because he is always wearing Ed Hardy something and has $500 sunglasses. This guy one night hit up some chick with $40 fingernails at Underbar, took her home, and banged the piss out of her. This one night stand girl, however, works at the RMV and to keep the cock coming hooks this guy up with good parking. Is the juice really worth the squeeze? This trash ass thinks so because he can get the best parking spots outside the clubs. Complete fucking D-bag.
61 year old lady that bought the Ferrari because it looked pretty:
This would be some old bitch that lives in Beacon Hill and has too much lip stick and too much money. She fucks the pool boy and she does not even have a pool. She is often seen in big hats. sundresses and $500 sunglasses. She also has a dog that matches the color of her eye shadow. She is also about 10 years past being a cougar so she needs something to attract the younger 50 year olds wearing Vineyard Vines. You know this cunt because she wont wait in line, anywhere, at Starbucks she just walks past every one and thinks her shit dont stink. She rocks the handicapped plates so she can get the best parking spots at the Chestnut Hill Mall and is complete cunt rocket.
So I guess the thing that they have in common is the $500 sunglassed and the inflated egos. So it looks like all I need now is a Ferrari, a good doctor, and a one night stand and then yours truely can become a super douche bag like the owner of this car. Now where do I get expensive sunglasses.
PS- It also could have been a member of the Boston Red Sox since they are all rich enough to buy the car and all on the disabled list.
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